The Sigh

It was empty. A loneliness in itself. The echoes of every syllable of sound, sends an eerie shiver to every nook and corner. The layers of dust have started to torment the once polished tables of oak. The lustre of the marble tiled floors, lost to the stain of dirt and grime. The chandelier, illuminating in its light, now just an ornament to its once vibrant history. Giving light to many folk and people.

But now, an emptiness. He heaved a sigh. On his favourite chair, he closes the book that captivated his mind hours ago. He heaps it on his coffee table, already cluttered with other books. Takes a sip from his already cold coffee, bitter, but sweet in itself.

Another sigh. He looks out the window. The once lively and cared for garden, now at the mercy of weeds and pests. Beyond the wall, bustling with activity. The onrushing wave of people. About their business. Children, on the way to school. They skip in their joy. Vibrant yet painful. A glimpse of the poor and needy, the society’s neglect.

He smiles. A lonely smile. Like them too, he was neglected. By the fate of life itself, thrown into the life of hardship. A life where misery was aloft, always ready to strike. As a child he could not understand. His family, dead, victims of a plague that he was immune, so said the doctors. He watched, his family, fall one by one to the illness. A death overtaken by another. A sadness now ingrained within him.

Then he was left, alone. With nothing. It was then, he strived, to conquer the challenges. With the words from his mother’s deathbed “Be strong and live, my son”.

He sighed. He survived. He overcame the forces that could have crushed him when the last breath of his family was extinguished. With endurance, he strove to be the best, not just among the best. Awarded excellence in university, secured a career, then a business.

He opened his diary. Read its contents, to the last few pages. The last page, dated 44 years ago. When he was 3rd year into his university life. He was then, still struggling. Juggling studies and work. For his future. There he met. A maiden of sorts. A feeling which he could not describe when his eyes beset her. An emotion, that was almost lost forever. They grew close, they cared, the affections between them the envy of everry couple.

Yet, it was not to be. He was shunned, by her parents. For he was poor. A future not confirmed. A sapling, its roots not yet deep within the earth. The girl was taken away, harshly, never to be seen again.

Now he was here. He has proven himself to the world itself. Perserverd through the challenges that made him human. But, he could not find within himself. Not an inch within his heart did he ever could, or ever would, love the way he did. A memory held him back. The memory of a girl, which brought him near to tears just with a thought. Nothing satiated this sadness. He beared with it. Until now.

The last sigh. Was it death calling? Or was it just another wail of his aching limbs? He slumped once more in his chair. Closed the diary and held it close to his heart. Now, with eye-lids closing, he smiled. A hearty smile. He was at peace.


~~~YES, I had writers block! ^^ I'm still rusty, havent written for a long time, so bear with it ok ^^~~~
lamun:hopes to write better stories

Secret that i keep.

I sat there. We just went to a reunion party. I looked at him. We had not talk to each other for a week already. I stared at his eyes. nothing. no reaction. his wall was so high and strong that even I, the person who loves him the most couldn't destroy or take a look whats behind it. he looked at me. eye contact. he smiled. he kissed me softly. easily i forgot everything for a minute. but then he back to himself again. still silent. mute. i was about to cry.

he did joke around with others back at the party. he talked with others so happily. why can't he just speak normally with me? why can't i bring him happiness? what have i done? i only make him miserable. sad. im so stupid. how could i...how could i make him happy. i was trying to hold the tears. he hate it when i cried. he hate me. he will. sooner or later he will get bored with me. the pathetic me. i just want to make him happy. to be his friend, love, wife and everything. i just want to be the whole. i want him to smile when he's with me. i want to console him when he's down or losing hope. i want to push him and be his strength when he is weakening. i want to help him to get through every problem he had. silent. ignoring me. that's what he do. its hurt. so much its really hurt me. i just want him to be happy. i am stupid. this is my sin. GOD is punishing me. because im too greedy. i want him all to be mine. all of him for myself. that's why i get punished. that's why this is happening.

"lets go home." he stand up. he walked with me. but im three step back. our hands hold on to each other. he turned around to looked at me and smile. i smile back. "Are you okay?" I nodded slowly. I smiled cheerfully. Fake. What a fake. but it didn't matter. he wont notice it right. he walked and we were in silence again.

"hey, do you remember when i said i will never keep a secret from you. i'm sorry. i lied. i did kept a secret from you. " i looked at him. "The secret that i keep is my feelings. I dont want you to get mad or sad. i hate to see you sad. i hate it when i dont know whats on your mind. whats happening. and everything. but i never told you that. its really okay. its a secret that i keep. im sorry." drop by drop, tears slowly running down my cheeks. he wont notice. my lips were sealed. only my heart did the talking. im monologue. he was three steps in front. we were holding hands. but he didnt notice me. i look at him. but all i could see was only his back.

slowly i wiped my tears. inhale. i need to be strong. i will be. i took three steps forward. even though sometimes i will fall down and cry because of its hurt. but being with him is what i dream for. being with him is where i belong. so if i cried. let me take three steps back but dont let go off the hand. im afraid of losing you. i want to be with you forever. don't go. please stay with me. i can't love without you. i squeeze his hand and said "I love you."

He looked at me. I know what will come out from your mouth. i dont know whether you mean it or not. but i want to believe in it. when you said those words, all of these sorrow will be erase. my life will be fresh again. you smiled and said "I love you too". That's all you have to do.

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a story bout a couple of husband n wife. the husband had a problem but he will kept it as a secret. but the woman loves him so much that he never tell him that he dislike his attitude. he was everything for her. idk y. hoho. love is complicated huh. sorry for grammar and spelling mistakes.

xoxo;niesa

On that rainy night, I was dead.

I stared and stared. Outside my window, there used to be a fellow. Who will come each night just to wished me goodnight. he was not here today. he will not be here anymore. I was wearing a dress. the most beautiful dress ever. i look pretty that night. dazzling. i wore a necklace along with the dress i just want to look beautiful that night. as pretty as i can be.

i sat there beside the window. kept staring at the road below. i saw a beggar begging. but he was being ignored. he was no big, no old. just a kid who was poor. he look skinny and pale. he must be a ten or eleven perhaps. he was no one, just a beggar. man walked arrogantly, refusing to give him a penny. he looked tired enough. i opened the window. called for him. he turned to me. i throw him a pouch. his expression changed. there was a smile on his face.

the moon was round tonight. it was beautiful. i stared down again. he wont come. wont come again. he was married to someone else. trashing me out from his life forever. it was not his fault. its alright. it was them who forced him. it was them who separate him and i. they were selfish and fools. they are monster. heartless heartless. they eat flesh. they cut the heart down and leave scar to others. they are filthy. they treat others like dirt. i hate them. oh, i hate them.

my love was stole once and for all. left me alone. here wondering what my life will be. how can i live how can i live? as they had took him away. my breath, my soul, my mind, my heart. they took him away away. away from me. now and forever he wont belong to me. he was not mine never will. how can it be how can it be. now I'm suffocating. it was getting harder for me to breath. harder and harder.

i walked towards the bed. giving up on waiting. as i laid there. this was where we make love. this was where he slept. this was his. that was his. my body shivered. nothing seemed right. nothing will be right. everything here and there were his. everything. not a single thing left for me. i already gave him all. all of me was his. now i was left with nothing. i wanted to scream. the tears ran down again. no. not tonight. please. wiped it off. wiped it off.

slowly i took it out from a drawer. i look at it carefully. then i looked around. one last time. i looked at the moon and smiled. and then i saw raindrops. it was raining that night. i laid down. held it with both of my hand. pointed it out to my heart. i close my eyes. i saw him for the last time. i saw my love for one last time. and on that rainy night, i pulled the trigger. and for one last time, i smiled.

on that rainy night, i died.

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>>it's just a dream that i got last nite.but i add up a lil here n there laa.so it just a story k.no biggies.

xoxo;niesa