When You Forget Yourself -Part3-

I felt cold. Alone, lonely. What could this dark place be? I tried to move. I felt nothing. I was lost. Was death this dark? This empty? I closed my eyes.

.....................................

"You're awake."

I was surprised. I felt myself jerk. I took a breath. I could breathe! Everything was in a blur. But the blur started to gain coherence. Somebody was beside me. I felt a bed beneath me. Where am I? Siti! How could it be? She is beside me. The only face that could have bring solace to my troubled heart. But why was she here? I sat up and stared at her, bad choice, my head spinned. I felt exhausted. Siti put my head slowly back on the pillow. She took my hand in hers. She gave it a squeeze. I shed a tear.

"Abang, rehat dulu ye. Don't push yourself."

How could I have forgotten her voice? The very same melody and intonation that captured my heart a long time ago. I weakly smiled and closed my eyes.

I awoke the next day. Details were more solid now and my vision grew. A room. Dimly lit and finely furnished. A creak from the door. I saw Siti entering. She was wearing a mild red 'baju kurung' with a flowery theme. Strangely, she still looked as resplendant as the last time I saw her. But, I thought to myself. When was the last time I really noticed her?

She came and put a tray with a cup of milo and some porridge on the bed desk. Sat on the bed beside me and stroked my unkept hair. I shiverred. I was afraid.

"Bang, makan sikit bang."

I was speechless. I could not say a word. All I could do was open my mouth and swallow the porridge that she would tenderly 'suap' put into my mouth with a spoon. I felt like a child. Then she put the cup of milo to my lips and I sipped the liquid. Letting the warmth seep through me while I composed myself to say something. I was at a loss at words! I could only lie there and stare at her clear dark hazel eyes that seem to penetrate my very being.

"Bang, bang akhirnya jumpa Siti." She shed a tear and her body seemed to tremble.

I closed my eyes. Remembering the contents of her farewell letter. I once told her, I whenever I felt lost and alone. I would always go the beach. I would gaze at the sea. At the coming and going of the tides. At the resonating power of both the sunset and sunrise. I told her that it was the only place I would go when I felt I was totally lost.

I willed myself and took her hand. I held on tightly.

"Siti, I am sorry."

She burst into tears. She took my frail body in her arms and hugged me tightly. All the time sobbing. The first after a long time, I felt peaceful happiness
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-lamun- to be continued later ^^